1.31 – We bought a map

We finally bought a map today. This is a drastic improvement over the USA Today newspaper weather map that Lauren and I had been using as a travel guide. “See where the light blue turns to dark blue? I think that’s near Sandusky, OH.”

That’s where we are right now. Where the light blue turns to dark blue, in Sandusky. There’s an indoor water park, and a steak restaurant, Ryan’s, that will grille up all of the steaks you can eat for $8. It’s heaven on earth. I heart Sandusky. I’d buy the bumper sticker, but odds are, they’re out. Just like the truck stops were all out of Nebraska truck driver hats.

I was thinking today, in the minivan amongst big rigs, that I deserve the truck driver hat now. I’ve strapped chains to tires. I’ve taken my chances on closed highways. I’ve driven for days, high on two 12 packs of Red Bull, a big box of Goldfish crackers, and piles of fast food. I’ve checked oil on days so cold that icicles formed at the corners of my eyes, and my lips went numb as soon as I stepped out of the car. Yeah, I’m pretty bad-@ss, and I want my truck driver hat. But when I finally decided I was ready for the Nebraska truck driver hat — the shop was all out.

I think I’ll have to settle for the giant re-fillable soda mug instead. You’ve seen these mugs, and likely laughed at them. I know I did. These are the travel mugs that fit entire two-liter bottles of soda. Who uses these? I’ll tell you who. Every truck driver between Sandusky and Seattle. These mugs are great. You can drink out of them. Use them shovel out your truck. Or, if you’re feeling frisky, fill them with hot water, and take a bath. These are big mugs. I’d get one, something cool like a NASCAR displayed on the front of it, but I’m just not sure we have room for it in the minivan.

So yes, today was more of the same. Just a lot of driving. What we noticed is that middle America is just jam packed with museums. I’m not kidding. They’ll open a museum up for just about anything. You’ve got your legitimate museums – The Ronald Regan Museum or the Buffalo Bill Museum. You’ve got some questionable museums – The museum of military vehicles that is actually just a parking lot full of tanks (which is frickin’ AWESOME!). And then you’ve got museums that someone opened up out of sheer boredom like the Museum of Giant Truck Driver Travel Mugs.

My day started with a McGriddle. I saw tanks. And then I got Dairy Queen for dessert. Today was successful, no matter how you measure it

Below: While I drive, it is Lauren’s job to capture trip highlights with my digital camera. For example, Lauren felt her hair was a little poofier today than normal. Yes, I really just used the word poofier.  And yes, this was a highlight of today’s driving.

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Living off of fast food  has not been kind to Marc. Below is a photo of Marc, in desperate need of a haircut and shave, showing Lauren how he can make his two new chins disappear.

Everyone warned us, “This road trip could be the end of your relationship.” This has not been the case. Lauren and I are fine. We sing, we have dance-offs in the car. We play all sorts of travel games to stay occupied. There is, however, a little tension between the Marc and the Kytka. My dinner, a DQ Blizzard becomes Kytka’s snack in the photo below. She knows I’m a germaphobe! She knows that once she licks it, I won’t touch it. She’s just doing it to piss me off.